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Archive for the ‘Nina Alvarez’ Category

Something new. A little video lesson on Not Overthinking the Process of writing and publishing.

Let me know what results you get! If I get enough responses, I’ll do the exercise myself and post my results.

And here’s the link to my dear, cherished duotrope.

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1998-2008

From time to time i took a poem and made it into origami

it was folded and i creased a long finger into it.

oh absent gods, a threshold over other thresholds

one true thing that speaks so well when it

finishes your sentences.

i heard the roar of Magenta and brought cards with me

in my pocket

with cigarettes

and napkins

in boy’s pants.

my breasts became beautiful

because they were small.

-Nina Alvarez

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a kind of love that would have done well
on a farm in Minnesota: Protestant, judging,
held back with two hands, unable to forgive.
but i could never have stopped returning to you
after that day in Christiania.
a sideways glance at grown boy
shirt buttoned solid chest
beard rougher than hands
He was after me, not him
but him, the one from
another life
jilted in Abyssinia

you want to press at me
until i give a squeak
the returning jeer of some cosmic comic
when he gets close i cry in the mirror
call a friend who doesn’t answer

-Nina Alvarez

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It is strange to think,
As I had not thought before,
About what I’ve sacrificed to be who I am

About how the program I signed up for
Or was signed up in me
In 1978
Maybe precluded romantic love
Or at least the lasting kind
Because it didn’t fit
With the self-centered mind, the oozing self-consciousness
The interior eye always blinking
That is my way into language.

I watch now, from a small window, the
One that still looks out this way
Some days when I get up from the desk,
I see there was never anyone who could have held me

But still, at 30, it is beginning to trill
That far off siren
That says the race is over
And all have gone home
Having won their partner

And yet, here I was, all the time, waiting
Wasn’t I?
Hadn’t I signed up, too? Done my hair, flattered myself in the mirror.
Hadn’t I pursed my lips and flicked the strands of blond hair
Against some illuminating day’s sun.

Or had it been a dream?

Because there is only me now.

In this one room, with a window that used to look out onto love
Now looking only onto wilderness
And not one single track in a ground
That is overgrown and muddy.

-Nina Alvarez

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Anselm Kiefer

 

The woman thinks of

Straw, ash, clay, lead, and shellac

the milky dust that clings to a hand

As it paints furrows in a bohemian landscape

 

He readies the milk-mud for a canvas

half the size of her vision

 

and without knowing anything else

she has seen him in New York

London, Paris, Berlin,

Sometimes in a small screen

 

But often enough in a white room

A perfect square of some autumn field

Cut and carried and burned with something

she had meant to say.

-Nina Alvarez

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Aubade: Lake Erie

When sun, light handed, sows this Indian water

With a crop of cockles,

The vines arrange their tender shadows

In the sweet leafage of an artificial France.

Awake, in the frames of windows, innocent children,

Loving the blue, sprayed leaves of childish life,

Applaud the bearded corn, the bleeding grape,

And cry:

“Here is the hay-colored sun, our marvelous cousin,

Walking in the barley,

Turning the harrowed earth to growing bread,

And splicing the sweet, wounded vine.

Lift up your hitch-hiking heads

And no more fear the fever,

You fugitives, and sleepers in the fields,

Here is the hay-colored sun!”

And when their shining voices, clean as summer,

Play, like churchbells over the field,

A hundred dusty Luthers rise from the dead, unheeding,

Search the horizon for the gap-toothed grin of factories,

And grope, in the green wheat,

Toward the wood winds of the western freight.

-Thomas Merton

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Venus and Adonis [But, lo! from forth a copse]
But, lo! from forth a copse that neighbours by,
A breeding jennet, lusty, young, and proud,
Adonis' trampling courser doth espy,
And forth she rushes, snorts and neighs aloud;
     The strong-neck'd steed, being tied unto a tree,
     Breaketh his rein, and to her straight goes he.

Imperiously he leaps, he neighs, he bounds,
And now his woven girths he breaks asunder;
The bearing earth with his hard hoof he wounds,
Whose hollow womb resounds like heaven's thunder;
     The iron bit he crushes 'tween his teeth
     Controlling what he was controlled with.

His ears up-prick'd; his braided hanging mane
Upon his compass'd crest now stand on end;
His nostrils drink the air, and forth again,
As from a furnace, vapours doth he send:
     His eye, which scornfully glisters like fire,
     Shows his hot courage and his high desire.

Sometime her trots, as if he told the steps,
With gentle majesty and modest pride;
Anon he rears upright, curvets and leaps,
As who should say, 'Lo! thus my strength is tried;
     And this I do to captivate the eye
     Of the fair breeder that is standing by.'

What recketh he his rider's angry stir,
His flattering 'Holla,' or his 'Stand, I say?'
What cares he now for curb of pricking spur?
For rich caparisons or trapping gay?
     He sees his love, and nothing else he sees,
     Nor nothing else with his proud sight agrees.

Look, when a painter would surpass the life,
In limning out a well-proportion'd steed,
His art with nature's workmanship at strife,
As if the dead the living should exceed;
     So did this horse excel a common one,
     In shape, in courage, colour, pace and bone

Round-hoof'd, short-jointed, fetlocks shag and long,
Broad breast, full eye, small head, and nostril wide,
High crest, short ears, straight legs and passing strong,
Thin mane, thick tail, broad buttock, tender hide:
     Look, what a horse should have he did not lack,
     Save a proud rider on so proud a back.

Sometimes he scuds far off, and there he stares;
Anon he starts at stirring of a feather;
To bid the wind a race he now prepares,
And whe'r he run or fly they know not whether;
     For through his mane and tail the high wind sings,
     Fanning the hairs, who wave like feather'd wings.

He looks upon his love, and neighs unto her;
She answers him as if she knew his mind;
Being proud, as females are, to see him woo her,
She puts on outward strangeness, seems unkind,
     Spurns at his love and scorns the heat he feels,
     Beating his kind embracements with her heels.

Then, like a melancholy malcontent,
He vails his tail that, like a falling plume
Cool shadow to his melting buttock lent:
He stamps, and bites the poor flies in his fume.
     His love, perceiving how he is enrag'd,
     Grew kinder, and his fury was assuag'd.

His testy master goeth about to take him;
When lo! the unback'd breeder, full of fear,
Jealous of catching, swiftly doth forsake him,
With her the horse, and left Adonis there.
     As they were mad, unto the wood they hie them,
     Out-stripping crows that strive to over-fly them.

     I prophesy they death, my living sorrow,
     If thou encounter with the boar to-morrow.

"But if thou needs wilt hunt, be rul'd by me;
Uncouple at the timorous flying hare,
Or at the fox which lives by subtlety,
Or at the roe which no encounter dare:
     Pursue these fearful creatures o'er the downs,
     And on they well-breath'd horse keep with they hounds.

"And when thou hast on food the purblind hare,
Mark the poor wretch, to overshoot his troubles
How he outruns with winds, and with what care
He cranks and crosses with a thousand doubles:
     The many musits through the which he goes
     Are like a labyrinth to amaze his foes.

"Sometime he runs among a flock of sheep,
To make the cunning hounds mistake their smell,
And sometime where earth-delving conies keep,
To stop the loud pursuers in their yell,
     And sometime sorteth with a herd of deer;
     Danger deviseth shifts; wit waits on fear:

"For there his smell with other being mingled,
The hot scent-snuffing hounds are driven to doubt,
Ceasing their clamorous cry till they have singled
With much ado the cold fault cleanly out;
     Then do they spend their mouths: Echo replies,
     As if another chase were in the skies.

"By this, poor Wat, far off upon a hill,
Stands on his hinder legs with listening ear,
To hearken if his foes pursue him still:
Anon their loud alarums he doth hear;
     And now his grief may be compared well
     To one sore sick that hears the passing-bell.

"Then shalt thou see the dew-bedabbled wretch
Turn, and return, indenting with the way;
Each envious briar his weary legs doth scratch,
Each shadow makes him stop, each murmur stay:
     For misery is trodden on by many,
     And being low never reliev'd by any.

"Lie quietly, and hear a little more;
Nay, do not struggle, for thou shalt not rise:
To make thee hate the hunting of the boar,
Unlike myself thou hear'st me moralize,
     Applying this to that, and so to so;
     For love can comment upon every woe."

-William Shakespeare

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[state of emergency]

To honor movement in crescendos of text, combing through ashes for fragments of human bone, studying maps drawn for the absurdity of navigation — what may be so edgy about this state of emergency is my lack of apology for what I am bound to do. For instance, if I dream the wetness of your mouth an oyster my tongue searches for the taste of ocean, if I crave the secret corners of your city on another continent, in another time, in series of circular coils extending outward, then it is only because I continue to harbor the swirls of galaxies in the musculature and viscera of my body. You will appear because I have mouthed your name in half-wish, reluctant to bring myself to you. You will appear for me, because you always do, with earthen skin outside the possibility of human causation.

-Barbara Jane Reyes

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A blog is a terrible thing.

You think it would quench the thirst for real publication, but it doesn’t.
Instead you act a little tyrant, and push your agenda. Your own printing press and audience. A Napoleon of poetry.

And then when you need to speak to people, they don’t know who to listen to. The voice in the blog or you. And when you think about all you have said to the world, you have to wonder if you really meant it, but there it is, said and said and said. And there is no taking it back, is there. And the delete key seems such an impotent option. A thing can’t be unread.

But the most terrible thing about a blog is that it’s all there in one place, consolidated, lucid. Every inconsistency shining forth, juxtaposed. A stubborn consistency it makes, and Emerson would be rolling over in his grave, the way we let it demand that we mean what we say and say what we mean and then account for it all again and again.

There comes a time when you go too far, and from there you either strip completely naked, or you leave town.

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When a Woman Loves a Man

When she says margarita she means daiquiri.

When she says quixotic she means mercurial.

And when she says, “I’ll never speak to you again,”

she means, “Put your arms around me from behind

as I stand disconsolate at the window.”

He’s supposed to know that.

When a man loves a woman he is in New York and she is in Virginia

or he is in Boston, writing, and she is in New York, reading,

or she is wearing a sweater and sunglasses in Balboa Park and he

is raking leaves in Ithaca

or he is driving to East Hampton and she is standing disconsolate

at the window overlooking the bay

where a regatta of many-colored sails is going on

while he is stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway.

When a woman loves a man it is one ten in the morning

she is asleep he is watching the ball scores and eating pretzels

drinking lemonade

and two hours later he wakes up and staggers into bed

where she remains asleep and very warm.

When she says tomorrow she means in three or four weeks.

When she says, “We’re talking about me now,”

he stops talking. Her best friend comes over and says,

“Did somebody die?”

When a woman loves a man, they have gone

to swim naked in the stream

on a glorious July day

with the sound of the waterfall like a chuckle

of water rushing over smooth rocks,

and there is nothing alien in the universe.

Ripe apples fall about them.

What else can they do but eat?

When he says, “Ours is a transitional era,”

“that’s very original of you,” she replies,

dry as the martini he is sipping.

They fight all the time

It’s fun

What do I owe you?

Let’s start with an apology

Ok, I’m sorry, you dickhead.

A sign is held up saying “Laughter.”

It’s a silent picture.

“I’ve been fucked without a kiss,” she says,

“and you can quote me on that,”

which sounds great in an English accent.

One year they broke up seven times and threatened to do it

another nine times.

When a woman loves a man, she wants him to meet her at the

airport in a foreign country with a jeep.

When a man loves a woman he’s there. He doesn’t complain that

she’s two hours late

and there’s nothing in the refrigerator.

When a woman loves a man, she wants to stay awake.

She’s like a child crying

at nightfall because she didn’t want the day to end.

When a man loves a woman, he watches her sleep, thinking:

as midnight to the moon is sleep to the beloved.

A thousand fireflies wink at him.

The frogs sound like the string section

of the orchestra warming up.

The stars dangle down like earrings the shape of grapes.

-David Lehman

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